22 February 2011

The first time I realized I loved Michael was after I'd come back to school my sophomore year.  I went to homecoming with my girl friends and spent most of my night dancing with them.  I was dating someone who couldn't come to the dance with me, but at that point in our relationship I knew that it wasn't going to work.  Michael was dating someone else too.  We made small chit chat, sitting at the same table and all, since we have many mutual friends.  We danced once, and I think that was all it took.  After that one dance I knew that I still cared for him, deeply.  It wasn't too long after that I found out he had broken up with his girlfriend.  He asked me back out not long after that.  I told him that I had to give him an answer later, and broke up with my boyfriend as soon as I got home.  When Michael called me later I told him that I definitely wanted to be with him again.

It was hard at first.  I felt so awkward, knowing how much I loved him, but I felt like maybe I jumped in too quickly.  Michael was so intense, so loving.  We had a conversation that was hard on both of us, on the relationships we had while we were broken up.  I was glad he was honest with me though, even if it was hard to hear.  I couldn't blame him though for anything that happened when we weren't together.  

I was stupid and broke up with him again, after he told me he loved me because I was scared.  I fixed it quickly and told him how I felt, confusion and all.  I feel blessed that he never pushed, and let me come around on my own.  

Have I mentioned how much I love my husband?  I know that I hurt him while I was confused, but I'm glad he  stuck by me. :)