The Love Dare Day 40

 I have made it to the last day of the dare.  We're supposed to write new vows to our husband and post them somewhere around the house, to remind us of our commitment to each other.

I recommit myself to you, I promise to be by your side and support you in all the efforts of your life.  I promise to love you and show you love every day. I give you half my life, and I'm looking forward to spending my life with you for many more years to come.

Easter

Today is the day that the Lord hath made.  I will rejoice and be glad in it!

"And God so loved the world that He gave His only son our Lord, that whoever believes in Him will not die but have eternal life." John 3:16

Today is the day we celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Today is a GREAT day!  It's good to always remember that Jesus died and rose again, but today we get to celebrate in what Good News it really is!  I know that not everyone believes in Jesus or that he was Lord, but I do, and I get excited about Easter.  I've found that the deeper my relationship with God has gotten the more emotional I am about the facts of Jesus, leading up to His death.  It moves me in a way I cannot even explain.  That we have a God that was willing to give up His life just to save our worthless lives is beyond me.  That He thought we were worthy of that love when we come short of the glory that He is, baffles me at times and also gives me great comfort.  I am worthy because He says so.  I am worth eternal life because He loves me no matter how much I sin, and I definitely sin, He still greets me with open arms.  No matter how I screw up, how I treat Him, turn away from Him, ignore Him, He is still there, loving me, welcoming me home when I realize my mistakes.

I can't claim to know it all, but I do feel that as I've gotten older, my relationship with God has only gotten stronger.  I can give many compelling arguments on how and why I believe in God, most of them logical even, but that's not the point of wanting to post this.  These are MY feelings, these are MY thoughts, and I am talking about MY God.  I've been through way too much in my life to not believe in Him.  To not know that there is a higher being up there watching out for me.

I hope all those who celebrate Easter had a good one, filled with love, because that's what God wants us to do, Love is at the core of who He is.  We may not always understand His will, but I can for sure trust in it.  God has blessed my life, and I continue to put my trust and love in Him.  I hope everyone is comforted by the promise God gave us.

I have eternal life, I do not have to fear death because I know what is to come.  Praise God!

The Love Dare Day 39

Only one more day after this and we're done with the love dare.  I've felt very fortunate doing this and I think that keeping all the tips in mind from this book will help our marriage stay as solid as it is now.

Today's dare is to spend time in personal prayer and then write a letter of commitment to my spouse.  I didn't write a letter, but I did tell him about how much I appreciate him and how I'm completely committed to our relationship.

The Love Dare Day 38

Today's dare is to ask myself what my spouse would want and try and obtain it for him.  I couldn't think of anything, so I asked Michael if there was anything I could obtain for him, and he told me that we had everything he needed, so I'm just going to try and help him unpack and organize all the new things he brought home with him.

The Liberal Commandments

According to the Religious Far Left (as if there is such a thing)

I. Thou shalt have no other God except thyself; after all, it is thy self esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thee, who will?

II. Thou shalt not make any graven images out of any substances which cannot be recycled.

III. Thou shalt not take the name of the liberals in criticism, including feminists, radical minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim of America.

IV. Remember the anniversaries of Roe v. Wade, Anita Hill's testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and the start of Obama's presidencies, and keep them holy.

V. Honor thy mother. If she's dysfunctional, it's thy father's fault.

VI. Thou shalt not kill, with these exceptions: life starts at the time of birth and those opting for medically assisted suicides.

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless thou aspires to high political office, useth a condom, or thou cannot help it.

VIII. Thou shalt not steal, unless thou art disadvantaged or upset with a jury verdict.

IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness, unless thou art discussing the history of the 1980s, art campaigning, or can afford good legal counsel in the event thou art discovered -- and can ask the American people to pay thy legal bills.

X. Thou shalt not covet, unless thou art the victim of gender-related oppression, salary-related biased, institutional racism or are still angry with the Bush tax-cuts.

XI. Always hide the real truth about thyself.

XII. Never admit who or what thou really art when campaigning for office.

XIII. Always blame someone else for what thou doest, even so far as to blame society as a whole.

XIV. Thou shalt oppose all punishment, except when conservative, Republican or religious right people criticize thee.

The Love Dare Day 37

I asked Michael if he would be willing to pray with me every day, and he said yes.

I am glad that he's willing to do this with me. :)

Redeployment/Home-coming

For those who may not know redeployment is the term used when soldiers come home from a deployment.  This is something I just recently had the pleasure of experiencing.  This was Michael's 2nd deployment and his 3rd year long separation.  Michael has been in the army for 5 1/2 years now, with 3 years of that, at least, spent away from his family.  We've adapted well to Michael's comings and goings.  It's not to say that there aren't some hard things that come along with it, but mostly we just end up back in the same rhythm we were in before he left.  I do have a tendency, after having done everything myself for a year, wanting him to take over everything, and I have to curb that want a bit, but I'd say now, after the 3rd separation we have home-comings down to a science.

I think part of it was before he came home we talked about what I would expect from him when he came home, and he told me what he'd like to ease into and things like that.  We didn't do that the first time around, but now with 4 kids, and our house and not having to move almost immediately I thought it was important to try and make it clear between us what we both would want or like *before* he came home.

I think it's worked quite well too.  There's been a little stress, adjusting to there being two of us, but its not been too bad, and really, in the long run, looking at the big picture I'm just happy to have someone to share all my problems, stresses, and parenting with again.

The Love Dare Day 36

I commit to read the Bible every day.  I do with the kids, for their school.  As a Christian family we chose Christian curriculum to teach them with.  The Bible's Word is interlaced in everything they learn.  I enjoy reading more, and learning more about God and watching the kids learn more about God.

I'm supposed to ask my spouse to read the Bible with me daily, and I'm going to, but I don't expect my husband to want to read it with me.  I can only offer occasionally and hope that one day he'll take me up on the offer to learn more about Christ and the promises He gives.

The Love Dare Day 35

Michael and I are not in a need to have counseling, but should we choose to have counseling we would probably start by going to the chaplains available to us here on post.  We are planning on going on marriage retreats as they come available, to help strengthen our marriage as much as possible.

The Love Dare Day 34

It probably wouldn't surprise anyone to know that Michael is unsure of his belief in Jesus, on who He was.  He doesn't like labels, but to use one I'd say Michael is mostly agnostic.  He believes in a higher power, but he's unsure of what exactly that higher power is.  However, Michael is completely supportive of raising our kids in a Christian household and teaching our children about God, and Jesus and raising them as Christian like I want and have promised in front of our family, our churches and most importantly in front of God.  He knows that my relationship to God comes before any other, and that I am highly spiritual and he respects that.

Today's dare was to find an example of when our spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way and verbally commend them for it.

Michael constantly shows what I would consider Christian character, he prays with us, he reads the Bible with us, and he helps me raise our kids as Christians.  In fact, if you didn't know his beliefs and just looked in from the outside it would be hard to tell he wasn't actually Christian.  This is something that weighs heavily on my heart, but I just keep praying for him, for his soul, and I can only hope and believe that one day he'll open his heart and let the Holy Spirit touch his life as it has mine.

The Love Dare Day 33

Today I promised my husband that I would make all major decisions with him.  This was a very easy dare because we already do that. :)

The Love Dare Day 32

This dare involved sex, and as much as I love all my friends who read this, our sex life is private :)

The Love Dare Day 31

Today's dare was about leaving our parents and coming together spiritually as "one flesh".  We're supposed to address any issues there may be with "leaving" the nest so to speak.  Michael and I don't have any of those issues.  I felt like we did earlier in our relationship, at a time, I felt that I wasn't put first (after we were engaged and early in our relationship).  It didn't take a whole lot to resolve this issue, I just stayed patient, and now I feel that there is no issue.  I don't know if it's because I just don't feel like there's an issue now, of if the issue disappeared, but either way I'm happy to say it's no longer a problem.

Planned Parenthood

Let's just be clear right away.  I think Nancy Pelosi is an idiot.

She's speaking in the above link, asking the question, "Do women think?"  Well YES, I do!

There is NO reason the federal government needs to be funding Planned Parenthood.  It IS double dipping.  Low income families can go to health departments and get low cost, or even no cost contraceptives, or maybe that's just Florida.  In fact, the health department is probably the main reason I didn't get pregnant in high school. Michael and I couldn't afford condoms so Michael would go to the health dept. and get a huge bag full for FREE.....hmm.

You could go there and get low cost pap smears, breast exams and birth control pills.  So, um, why are we funding planned parenthood for this when we're already funding the health departments?  Yes, I think, I think we're WASTING money on a program created by a woman who wanted to ELIMINATE minorities through birth control and abortions.

So yes, Nancy Pelosi I think.  I am a PROUD republican and I PROUDLY practice family planning without EVER needing a planned parenthood.  I didn't even need them when I DIDN'T have health insurance.  Guess what I did, it was an amazing concept, I PAID for my birth control pills, OUT OF POCKET, on my $200 a week paycheck......

I think that planned parenthood is a drain on our federal money, and I think we shouldn't stand behind a program that was created to eliminate minorities (hey isn't this usually NOT a GOP stance?)  I boycott Girl Scouts because they support planned parenthood.

Imagine that, paying for something you need......

But then again, Nancy Pelosi says that I don't think women think......based on my party affiliation.  I'm thinking (gasp) that I just may just have a higher IQ then her.....

The Love Dare Day 30

Today I was supposed to pray about a point of division in our marriage.  So I did, I'm not sure if we'll be able to come to a perfect solution but I'm willing to try again on finding a way to compromise, or work it out.  I'm confident that any problems we face in our marriage we can work out in some way or another.

The Love Dare Day 29

Today's dare is to pray for our spouse, for their needs and to demonstrate our love for them tangibly.  I haven't yet decided how I will demonstrate my love, but praying for Michael will be easy.  I try and do that every day anyways.

As I only have 11 days left of the Love Dare I've been feeling very grateful for what I've learned through this.  I've always felt that being in a relationship and being in love isn't just about that fuzzy warm feeling you feel at the beginning of a relationship, it's a daily commitment to the person you've chosen.  Love goes through phases, and eventually you're not going to have the gleeful, giggly love, eventually it becomes deeper and more heartfelt.  Michael and I have that deeper devotion for each other and I can look back at our early relationship and be happy for our beginning love, but grateful that while we aren't like we were back then, we are still committed to each other and still in love with each other.  I am secure in knowing that just like I do him, Michael chooses to love me every day too.

The Love Dare Day 28

This week Michael has returned home from deployment, and his biggest need is to get through reintegration as easily as possible.  I plan on supporting him in any way I can, with time and patience.  Michael is very appreciative of the help I can give him.

The Love Dare Day 27

Today was supposed to be about letting go of unrealistic expectations of my spouse.  I was supposed to seek forgiveness from Michael on being too hard on him on something, however when I asked Michael if there was something he thought I was too hard on him about, or made him feel too pressured he said he could not think of anything he felt I did that put unrealistic expectations him.  So I will strive to maintain positive encouragement and not to make him feel pressured but supported.

The Love Dare Day 26

Today's dare is to ask my spouse to forgive all the wrongdoings I've done.  I asked Michael and he told me he always forgives me immediately, so not much needs to be done with this day.

The Love Dare Day 25

Today's dare was to forgive our spouse for something.  I have nothing to forgive Michael for, but I used to hold grudges.  Early on in our relationship I had found out that Michael and lied to me about something big, and then I found out about more lies.  It destroyed my trust in him and caused a lot of issues as our relationship progressed.  I held on to the pain and I didn't forgive him for it even though I said I did.  I think I held onto the grudge for about 3-4 years and it ate at me until finally I had to decide to either forgive him or let him go.  I decided that forgiving him was the best option and so I did.  It was hard, to just let go of all the pain that he had caused me, but I prayed to God to help me work through that pain and God is awesome and God answers prayers.  I won't say it was easy but I know He played a part in my ability to forgive.  It's made our relationship stronger, and Michael doesn't lie to me anymore, and has rebuilt my trust in him.

The Love Dare Day 24

Today's dare is about removing lust from our lives.  I honestly don't have anything that detracts from my want of my husband.  When I'm with my husband he's all I'm thinking about, when I'm not with him, he's the only person I want to be with.

I won't say I'm not attracted to any one else, I'm sure no one would be surprised that I think David Boreanaz is super sexy, and I have been known to appreciate his pictures, but when it comes down to it, my husband wins out over all others.

Michael and I have been together for 13 1/2 years, and have been intimate for a little over 12 years and I'm still as attracted to him, still as in love with him as I as all those years ago.  I feel blessed to still feel this way, because I know not everyone does.

The Love Dare Day 23

Todays dare is to remove unhealthy addictions or habits that take away time with your spouse.  I am aware that I can spend a lot of time on my computer, so I'm going to try and restrict the time I spend on it while Michael is around and spend more one on one quality time without my laptop there.  I think Michael will appreciate it.

Stress

Okay, I'm sure by now many people know my views on politics.  I consider myself a republican, I made that decision when I was 9 years old thanks to my awesome gifted teacher.  I evaluate my views every couple of years and I try and stay informed of all candidates running for office so that I can vote in confidence.  I have consistently voted my party, with the exception of the most recent Florida governor who I take no credit for.

I just want to say that I am completely and totally ashamed of our elected officials at the moment.  October is the start of the fiscal year, the federal budget should be settled by October, I realize we don't have any money, but that's an entirely different rant then the one I'm doing now.  I've seen many rants and read many upset blurbs about this already and I've found it necessary to put my own words out there too.

This affects me personally since my husband is military.  My husband and I make sacrifices for this country. My husband is currently deployed, and is risking his life for this country, and missing out on his family and us, his family, our sacrifice is not having a husband and a father while he's out there risking his life for this country. My husband is doing his job, he does what he's told to do and is a great soldier, but come this next payday we may not see any money.  Like I stated above, I am a republican, I believe in working hard, and keeping the money you earn.  I don't complain about the amount my husband earns, but I will complain if he doesn't get said earned money.  I will complain when people on welfare, who are NOT working will get money when my husband who IS working will not.  Michael and I are lucky to have some savings, so while yes, we will not be hurting if we don't get paid I know many who cannot claim this, and if we didn't still have some of our tax return available (we still have a loan to pay off) then we would be in a jam.

I am ashamed of both parties right now, in their inability to come to some sort of compromise, and make sure our hardworking soldiers get paid.  So many people I know personally are stressed and it makes me sad.  I'm trying not to stress until the 15th and I find out if we get paid, but I cannot believe that congress deserves to get paid while our soldiers do not, especially when it seems to me like maybe they are incapable of actually doing their jobs.  My husband will still be required to do his job whether or not we're paid for it.

The Love Dare Day 22

Today's dare is to make a commitment to choose to love our spouse even if they may not return our love.  This kind of love is impossible without the love of Jesus Christ because the only way to experience unconditional, eternal love is to know the love of the Lord.  It's hard sometimes to follow God's example in the way we love, but God blessed us with Jesus, to show his unconditional eternal love for us, and so I strive to show that love to others, and especially to my husband.

The Love Dare Day 21

Today's dare is to commit myself to dedicating more time to the Lord.  I will try and read more scriptures a day, and pray more often throughout the day.

The Love Dare Day 20

Today was about reflection.  The dare as to reaffirm our commitment to Jesus Christ and living a life in His name.  I have felt very fortunate in my life, that even through my mistakes I still have His love, even though I am completely undeserving.

I see the Lord in my life daily, in the actions of my children, in my neighbor Sarah, and in many of my friends.  I have been blessed with good friends, a loving family, core and extended, and an amazing church family back in FL.

The Love Dare Day 19

Today's dare is just just reflect on the past dares and see if God is calling us to change within ourselves to better our marriage.  My goal is to put things in God's hands more often, and realizing I can't do it all. I am not capable of anything without God in control.

The Lord is my strength and He is the only one who can bless me.

I'm glad to be doing the love dare. I've never thought that Michael and I had a horrible relationship, in fact I'm satisfied with our marriage however I always think things can be improved, and I believe in strengthening our marriage.  This has shown me that our relationship is really solid and it makes me proud that most of these dares have been easy for me to do, and that I already do most of the dares on a daily basis.

The Love Dare Day 18

This dare is put on hold because it involves going to dinner with your spouse, which I obviously cannot do at this point in time.  I will come back and edit this entry when I am capable of fulfilling the dare.

The Love Dare Day 17

Today's dare was to guard your spouse's secrets.  I generally do not talk about Michael's problems with other people, so this dare is fairly easy.