Faith

17 March 2011

Deployments

I know that deployments can be make or break but I think with Michael and I there was never really any other choice but to make.  Michael and I discussed our views of marriage long before we got married, say when I was 16, so um, 6 years before we got married.  Neither of us believe in divorce unless cheating or abuse is involved. I stand by this even today as we are coming up on our 6 year wedding anniversary.  

Deployments are hard, I don't think it's any surprise to anyone that I say that Michael and I, in the beginning of our relationship had a hard time finding a way to communicate effectively with each other.  It was one of the biggest problems in our relationship (there were others, but I really think this was one of the biggest).  It was a little easier once we got married, but when he deployed, our way of communicating changed drastically.  We talk things out more, we have to.  We bond over talking more, and I, since before Michael joined the army tried very hard to change the way I handle mis-communications and arguments.  I was used to yelling when in a disagreement but it doesn't work well with Michael, so I've trained myself to keep my voice low and calm and I've succeeded.  I still have work to do when it comes to negativity, but I'm proud at what I've accomplished.  I also try VERY hard not to bring up past arguments either, which is a VAST improvement from when we were teens.

I think our deployments actually helped our marriage become stronger, and while it's really hard, being without my husband I am glad we  were able to find some good with such a bad situation.