Faith

09 December 2010

submissiveness

Submissiveness.

That one word strikes terror in the hearts of modern day feminists.  We have to be submissive to our husbands??  What?  No, I will NOT obey him, I'm not a person to be taken advantage of.  My husband is no better than me why should I have to do what HE says, I'm my own person and can make my OWN decisions.
What people don't seem to understand is that being submissive doesn't mean giving up your own person, constantly only doing what your husband says, or losing yourself.  

As a Christian, women are called to be submissive to their husbands, but what does this really mean?  Is it a horrible and demeaning thing to be submissive?  I don't think it is, if you're living in your marriage the way God calls us to live.  I've had this talk with many friends, and family.  I've come to one simple conclusion.  Being submissive is not scary.  I have not lost myself in my husband and family, in fact, being submissive to my husband has actually made me free in many ways.  

The thoughts for this blog came from listening to the radio yesterday.  I was listening to one of the Christian stations, and the man on there was talking about how to have a truly Christian based marriage.  He never mentioned being submissive, only that in order to make a marriage work you need mutual respect, and then love.  

So what does the Bible say on being a submissive wife, and how does it apply to today? Ephesians 5:22-33 says:  22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

 What this says to me, is not that we are to be doormats, that we're allow our husband so abuse us.  We still have a say in our lives, but that, just like Christ is the head of the church, just like you need a leader in all other things, for otherwise things lead to chaos, you need a "leader" in your relationship.  If both of you try and "lead" your relationship, then more often than not, you'll fail in your relationship.  Paul tells us also, that our husbands are to love us, and treat us with the same respect he gives himself.  It's not all about how we're to deter all decision making to our husbands.  Our husband is also to love and respect us, and treat us in that manner.  If they do not, they are not glorifying the Lord, or the marriage.

So what this passage means to me is simply this: men are to leave their families and become one with their wives, they are to make sure their wife is taken care of, physically and mentally and to treat her with the respect she is deserving of as a child of God. In return, we're to trust our husband as the head of our household, as God himself as commanded of him, and give him respect and love in return.  If either side is out of balance, then we're not held to our side of the commitment.  Simply put, women are not to be blindly subservient, we're not to do the husband's bidding getting nothing in return, but are in fact in a partnership with our husbands, built on mutual love and respect.

In my relationship, as a Godly wife, I respect my husband, and I love him, and I expect that love and respect back, and I receive it.  My husband takes care of our family, and me, and supports me in my wants and desires, and I do the same of him.  Since he fulfills his side of our partnership, I allow all decisions to be finalized through him, but I know that he also trusts and respects my opinion and judgement.  He'll always ask for and want my opinion, and in return, I allow him to have final say in any major life changing decision in our life, knowing that he'll do his best to look out for our family as a whole.

I am not scared to say I am a submissive wife, that I am living in my marriage in the way the Bible has asked me to.  I am not scared or ashamed of the way I live, in fact I am proud of it. I think my relationship is all the better because of it.