14 December 2010

Warning, boobs/breastfeeding talk!

You have been warned, if you are offended by talks of my boos, or even worse, of the purpose of my boobs, then I don't want to hear any complaints because I fair warned you in the above title.

I've been thinking about doing this for awhile, and I've been putting it off, but lately I've felt the urge to write so here it is:

My favorite breastfeeding moments with each of my kids.

Since he was a newborn everything was new with him.  I was amazed by the bond we established, how even as a newborn he would stare into my eyes, and it made me feel so powerful, so womanly, so motherly.  I loved the way he was squeeze my breast while he was eating, and make his contented coos right before he was done.  I loved the way that when he was done he would look up at me and just rest there on my breast with heavy lidded eyes.  As he got older, the bond never left, it was *our* time together, it was special.

Jade was my hair twirler.  Even as a newborn she had to have her hand in my hair, and then eventually her own.  I would stroker her face and hair while she nursed.  I especially loved our night time nursings.  Because James was only 16 months old when Jade was born I didn't get as many private times with her as I did with James, but late at night, after James had gone to sleep it would be just her and I.  She would nurse to sleep at night, sitting on my lap while I did the school work I needed to do that day.  She would stroke my arm and face after I would do hers, and I loved waking up with her all snuggly in my arms and falling asleep with her nursing at night.  I loved how when she was 10 months old she would walk up to me, slightly tug on my shirt and say "nurse".  I love that I go to nurse her over a year.

I think Steven was my easiest baby to nurse.  We had no real problems with his nursing. Steven always approached nursing with enthusiasm and love.  I loved when he was a newborn how he'd make the "ah ah ah" sounds until he found my nipple to latch on, then the "mmm" once he got on.  He'd hold tight to me while nursing.  He was distractable, so he wouldn't always look at me while nursing, but it was fun to watch him taking everything in.  He's still my quiet baby.  I loved when he was older and he'd walk up to me and ask to nurse even if it was just for comfort.

Willow is not done nursing, but there are many things I love about it, and I know I'm going to miss it when we're done.  We had a lot of trouble starting out, and it seemed like the first 3 months of her nursing relationship was pretty painful, and she ate so much more than my others did, but it was well worth it.  She is even more distractable than Steven is which can be frustrating, but it just made me have to find a way to find private time with her even more than I normally would.  Now some of my favorite things are when she find me shirtless, for whatever reason (changing, about to shower, etc) and she looks at me like an all you can eat buffet!  How even now, when it's time to nurse she starts jumping up and down on her knees cause she's so excited!  How she holds me tight and doesn't want to let go.  I love how even if she's offered solid foods, she still prefers to nurse from me.

Since Willow is more than likely my last baby I am trying to appreciate every moment of breastfeeding.  I know that breastfeeding is definitely something I'm going to miss!