06 July 2014

March was a hard month for me.  My Mom was in a car accident in October of 2004.  She suffered severe injuries and became a paraplegic.  She was optimistic at first, but slowly, what was optimistic that she may eventually walk again became resignation that she never would, and finally slipping into depression as she realized she never would, and that many of the things that she used to love to do and wanted to do with her grandchildren could never happen.  And unfortunately in all of this she also missed out on a lot with them.  I watched as my vibrant and passionate mother faded away in front of me, and finally, in March this year she left this earth.  I still can't think about her without crying.  My Mom was my best friend, my rock.  After my Daddy died in 1992 I only had her and although we had a rough start, she was my person to cling to.  We had a lot in common and enjoyed those things together.  My Mom was a really awesome person who I miss talking to every day since she died.

It was sudden, and yet not so sudden, and it's hard not to think back and see all the regrets, all the times I could spend with her and now can't.

Mommy, I know you're looking after me now, and my kids.  I love you and I know you knew that.  It hurts, you being gone, but I'll be okay, but only for you, because I know that's what you'd want, but I miss you.  So much.