08 August 2010

There's a wall

In deployments there's a wall.  A wall that you hit at some point in the deployment where you just want to give up and let yourself wallow in self pity.  I'm there, with everything that's happened in the past week it just pushed me into the wall, literally into it is where I feel I am.  Inside the wall and unable to move or do anything at all.

I want my husband.  I miss him more than words can explain.  I know I can live my life without him, not easily, but I can, but he's my best friend.  So many times I've just wanted to pick up a phone and call him and let him know what's going on, or because I've thought of something funny I want to tell him and I can't because he's overseas.  Then I saw a post on facebook about one of the guys from his old unit died in Afghanistan.  Last night I had a dream too, that he died.

I think the worst thing however was that a week ago Willow went into the hospital for an unknown reason.  They were talking about all kind of scary things and they treated us, at Eisenhower badly, because she's not vaccinated.  At least at MCG she was treated with more respect than she was here on post.  She's doing much better now though.

I just really want my husband, it was very scary this past week.  I did however have some amazing neighbors.  They watched the kids even though it was an inconvenience to them.  I am blessed to have some great friends and neigbhors!