For Memorial Day

I have to question the anti-war, anti-violence people.  I abhor violence too, when it's not warranted.  People say we're over in Afghanistan fighting a "holy war" when it's not true.  The taliban are not holy and we're not trying to convert them.  The taliban however did plan and execute a a malicious plan that killed THOUSANDS of our people.  Thousands.  These were not trained soldiers, these were civilians who died.  They died in their work, and in their daycare, or in the place they had to go to to do business, or they died on their way to somewhere else.  When I think back on that day, and who can't on this day we're supposed to reflect on past soldiers, I am heartbroken.  I think how can people just want to stand by and let that go?  I follow Jesus, I know that he says to turn the other cheek.  However, I don't think he would condone standing by and allowing thousands of more innocent civilians be blown up, or burned, or fall out of buildings.

When it comes to Iraq, I'm also tired of hearing we're only in it for the oil.  If we were in it for the oil, don't you think we'd have lower gas prices by now?  We had a responsibility to removed the man we put in power.  He was killing millions of his own people.  Remember the last time we turned our backs on someone who was  inflicting mass genocide?  It wasn't pretty and it was NOT okay!

I also think these people are insensitive to people who have loved ones in the military, especially when they claim they must have only joined for the education, or because they think they can't get money another way.  Most soldiers do not join for those reasons, and yet it's spoken as if that's the only reason someone would join.  How about pride in your country?  That's why my husband joined.  He is proud of his country and he believes in keeping it safe from people who would come over here and harm the people of this country.  He is selfless and brave and amazing.  By saying what he is doing is pointless, or unneeded you are stomping on his sacrifice and mine!  I have been without my husband for what you say is pointless, but we don't think so.  This especially stings when it comes from family.

We are fighting a war to keep our country free.  Hopefully we can continue to keep our country free without war, but when someone is constantly beating you down, how do you expect to react?  If someone threatens your life, how do you honestly think you would react?  I would suggest that you watch the Buffy episode 'Pangs' to the end.  Willow is anti-war too, she's very liberal, but watch at the end, watch what happens when she's confronted with violence to herself and her loved ones.  In fact watch any episode where any of the characters are.  They fight back, they keep their loved ones safe.

Why do people think they have to apologize to others?  I feel for the innocent people who die over there, it breaks my heart, but most of them are dying because of their own people wrapping bombs on them.  Did you know they wrap bombs on children and blow them up?  Did you know soldiers now have to be wary of the little children over there that they were originally trying to help because they died giving kids candy, and toys and things because the adults used the kids to kill our soldiers?

I'm tired of it.  My husband is my hero, and you people diminish what he is doing.

I'm torn

I've been talking with Michael about this.  We're both not comfortable with vaccines but unfortunately if Michael ever gets stationed overseas we're concerned that the kids not being vaccinated would be a problem in us getting over there as soon as possible.  I'm also concerned with what they might be exposed to while over there also, so I think once Steven turns 3 we'll start getting him vaccinated.  I'm still not comfortable with the idea, in fact it all just makes me want to cry, but I think that's what's going to be best when we're trying to keep our family together.

I have so many objections though and yet, I don't know.

I've got a few months still until Steven turns 3.

Things to look forward to...

I'm going down to Florida in June, I've got a lot of people to watch eclipse with!  I'm looking forward to it!   Then in July I'm going back down for James's birthday party. Then unfortunately after that I'm going to have to wait for Michael to come home on R&R.  But then there will be Thanksgiving and Christmas to look forward to.  What I'm looking forward to the most though will happen next year!

Then hopefully I'll get my husband again for awhile!

Agh

If you put your baby on formula, just expect them to have feeding issues because it's not natural or MADE for that babies digestive track, so don't get all surprised when they have issues digesting it!  If you didn't want them to be in pain from constipation, or from horrible gas, or any other digestive issue then you just should have breastfed them!

That is all.

It sucks

When you want to write, but don't have anything to write about.  Well I do actually have things I could write about....things I care about, but right now I don't feel like writing about those things.  There are so many things I feel strongly about, natural birth, a woman's right to birth where she wants to, and with whom she wants, abortion legality, our country and the way it's headed, Christianity, vaccines, parenting and breastfeeding.  So many things.  I feel like some times I'm a little too passionate, but others I feel like maybe I'm not passionate enough.  It's frustrating sometimes, knowing, having researched things, and having no one listen to you.  I'm tired of people saying I have to be PC, or that I can't say facts because it might hurt someones feelings or make them feel guilty.

But, yea, on to other things.

Michael has been gone for a month and a half almost.  I already feel like I'm going crazy!  I want to go home to FL, be around family, but I won't be going  home for another month.  Everywhere I look there are reminders of Michael, and every time the phone rings I'm praying its him just so I can talk to him for as long as I can.  Deployments suck.  I'm being strong for the kids, and since the initial breakdowns before and after he left I haven't had one, but I'm starting to think that I'm being a little too strong.  I'm afraid that I'm keeping everything inside and it's just going to break open and I'm going to be flooded with all this emotion and I may not be able to pick when it's going to happen.  I don't know.  I'm trying to be strong and I just feel so weak right now.  I'm praying Michael calls soon, talking to him, hearing his voice always makes me feel a tiny bit better, at least for a short period of time.

The kids, yes the kids.  Well, James is just about done with kindergarten, he's got 18 more lessons, and Jade has 90 more lessons until she's done.  They have both done great so far!  I'm very proud of them!  Now if only they would clean when I asked.  Steven is doing great too, we're beginning to go over colors, and their signs, he's starting to pick up the colors....although he does get some of them mixed up sometimes.  Willow is doing very well too!  She's eating a lot lately so I'm thinking growth spurt shortly.  She's almost 7 months old so it wouldn't surprise me if she grew into 12 month clothes soon!  She is SOO tall for her age!  She's crawling now and trying to pull herself up all the time.  I miss her sleeping in the bed with me.  She won't now, she starts waking up and wanting to play if I hold her after nursing.  So in order to get her to go back to sleep after nursing I have to put her down in her bed.  It makes me sad.

Michael and I have talked about having more kids.  I don't know if we are or not, I'm leaning towards not at this point, but we're leaving that door open I think.  If we do I think I'd just like one more, another girl, but Michael wants even amounts, so if we had one more, he'd want us to have two more.  I don't know that I want 6 kids.  I figure once Willow is a bit older I can decide, although the thought of conceiving over R&R is tempting, because once Michael gets home I'd be closer to delivering. I don't know though.  I hate being pregnant, and while I do have some bad days with the kids, I love being a Mom and it's very rewarding.  They listen pretty well, most of the time....although, there are times like right now where they aren't listening to me and cleaning their room so that I don't have to take some of their toys away! LOL....Steven just went to get a bag for me to throw toys away in!

Off to be the big bad mommy!

I have a little bit of time....

Today got away with me.  I woke up and got moving around 9am, then it seemed like next thing I knew it was 1pm!  I think maybe netflix is a bad bad thing! LOL.  Plus the kids refused to clean up today too.  Then of course since it took them a long time to clean up we started school late.  Here it is 7pm and they are finally eating dinner but we're only half way through school.  I doubt they'll go to bed on time now too.  But, I did get the kitchen completely unpacked and organized and DONE!  Finally!  I'm so proud of myself.  I even started in the computer area.  So that will be my goal tomorrow, to get the computer area organized and done.  At least I hope so!


The kids are doing pretty good though, progressing well in school and Jade is awesome at cursive.  Steven is talking and signing more which is wonderful!  Willow is probably 2 or so weeks away from crawling, but she's starting to get frustrated down on the floor, and no matter how much I try and entertain her it just doesn't seem to work well.  She wants to be up in my arms.  Which I have a love/hate relationship with.  In one hand I want to savor the moments she wants to be close, but on the other hand she's getting SO heavy!  Oh well, I usually lean toward the side of savoring time.


As for Michael.  I'm getting to talk to him about every other day which is nice.  He's bored which makes me happy! :) He's staying where he is right now, which makes me feel a little more comfortable.  We're not even a month into this deployment though and in some ways it depresses me.  We're also pretty far off from R&R.  I'm trying to make it through one day at a time.  It's hard but I am trying.


Well the kids are demanding seconds of food so I have to end this now.