I'm watching Jesus Christ Superstar

I love this movie.  But it brought on a discussion between Michael and I concerning Judas.  Most people think Judas is in hell, because he betrayed  Jesus.  I told Michael I don't believe that, and he said that he believes it's possible because Judas has free will and made the choice to betray Jesus.  We both agree that Jesus didn't really have a choice in his life, he didn't have full free will.  God knew and determined what he would do at the big moments.  He probably had say in the small things, but when it came to how, and when he would die, I believe Jesus had no choice.  I also believe that because of this, and because there had to be a betrayer, Judas was chosen by God, for whatever reason to fulfill that part of the story.  So I do not believe Judas had free will at that point in his life and therefore can not be held responsible for his actions.  I don't believe God would punish Judas for doing something He decided must be done.  I'm not sure about his suicide effecting it, but I can imagine he would have been completely overwhelmed after realizing how God had used him.  Deep thoughts.

Do not comment

on things you know nothing about!  If you are a civilian and do not actually know anything about the military (and no, listening to the news on tv does not count nor does watching movies) then DO NOT COMMENT on people asking questions about it!

Oh and please do not say that breastmilk is lacking anything.  It has vitamin D in it, if your baby is coming up deficient YOU are deficient in vitamin D.  Betcha if you fix your deficiency it'll fix your babies too!

UGH!

Home again home again!

We're moving today, to our home on post.  I had been worried about this move for awhile, because of our lease with the place we're renting now.  They did not break leases for moving on post, and we don't have the money to get out of it, but luckily Michael's CPT wrote us a memo saying we had to move on post, so we're covered adn we don't have to pay to break the lease.  We also did not have to pay anything to move in on post.  This is going to help a lot.  Right now we're paying way too much with rent and electricity and gas to get from here to post....so this ought to be a lot cheaper now.

Life with a newborn

I am exhausted, but I'm happy!  I finally had the birth experience I had always wanted, and it made everything better in a way.  I finally got it right.  I feel like my other kids got gipped in a way but there's nothing I can do about it now. I would encourage any woman to at least consider home birth for their children, or at least a birthing center with a midwife.  The least medical experience you can find because having an un-medicated, un-emergent type birth was the most amazing and wonderful experience.  I let nature and my body do what it was supposed to do, I surrendered to the power of what my body was built and is capable of doing and it was empowering!  I don't think I had ever felt so confident in myself and my body then I did when I was allowing it to do what needed to be done instead of fighting it, or allowing myself to be put in a position where others hindered my body from doing what it was made to do.  Women are made to give birth, and our bodies ARE capable, it's just allowing it to happen that women seem to be scared of.  Pregnancy and birth are not emergency situations, they are normal parts of life and should be treated that way.  I went into labor in the morning, and ate breakfast like it was any other day, I didn't have to feel like I was going to have to rush somewhere to "give birth".  I had her in the afternoon and by the end of the day it again felt like just another day, only now I had this beautiful little creature to hold and snuggle with.


Willow is almost 2 weeks old now and I still can't believe how beautiful and amazing she is and now amazing her birth was compared to the others.  Giving birth in a hospital is definitely not something I would recommend, I just can't settle for second best.