Holistic First Aid Kit

I keep a few items in my house and my vehicle that can help with many problems. This is a list of my favorite items:

 Activated charcoal-This can be used in an emergency if a poisoning happens. You should then head to an emergency room as well. 

• Arnica 30c-I use this for pain relief for my children and myself, for any bumps or bruise pain, sprain pain or to reduce swelling. The cream form can be used on sprains and bruises.   
  

•  Bug Balm Repellent-Used as a deterrent for mosquitos on children ages six and up. 
  
  
  
  
  
  

• Calendula Calendula officinalis-Tincture and cream can be used for wound care, scrapes, scratches and cuts, but do not use if there is a foreign object or infection as it encourages quick skin growth.  
  
• Catnip Nepeta cateria-would be used in a tea or infusion for breathing issues like mild asthma or bronchitis symptoms, but can be used also for diarrhea. Topically it can be used as an antifungal and antibacterial agent. 
  
•  Chamomile Matricaria recutita-to be made into a tea for stress relief, inflammation and pain relief. 
  
• Clove Oil-This oil must be diluted, but can be used for toothaches. You can apply it directly on the tooth or around the area of the tooth. 
  

 

• Feverfew Tanacetum parthenium-Used for high fevers, prevention and treatments of migraines in a tea. This is not to be used for children. 
  

 

• Lavender Lavendula augustifolia-Essential oil-Mixed with a carrier oil Lavender can be used for scalds and burns and has an anesthetic effect. A spray in alcohol can be made to be sprayed on clothes for anxiety, or on a pillow for insomnia. 
  

 

• Mullien Oil-Used for earaches or a build up of ear wax that may be causing pain. 
  

 

• Peppermint-Mentha x piperita-Peppermint tea is a great remedy for gas, as an antacid, or for fever (it helps you sweat).  This shouldn't be used with children under six, from one to six years of age, spearmint can be substituted.
  

 

• Rescue Remedy-This is made from flower essences and helps with panic, shock, or stress.
  

 

• Shepherd's Purse Capsella bursa-pastoris-Made into a tincture Shepherd's purse can aid in blood clotting. Give 2-8 mL 3/4 times a day. 
  

 

• Urtica Urens 30c-To be taken for stinging, burning pains for allergies, stings from insects, sunburns and rashes. 
  

 

• Witch Hazel Hamamelis virginiana-should be used topically in a compress and for bleeding, reducing bleeding, and can also be used for hemorrhoids. 
  

 

• Yarrow Achillea millefolium-is useful as a topical disinfectant. As a tea it can be used for fevers and colds, and it can also reduce bleeding. Should be used in older children and adults only. 
  

Carrier oils should be used for all EO's.  These can be oils like Coconut, olive oil and almond oil. 

NIH. (2020, December). Feverfew. National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health. Retrieved April 7, 2023, from https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/feverfew#:~:text=Feverfew%20is%20promoted%20for%20fevers,as%20an%20antiseptic%20and%20insecticide.

Petersen, D. (2020). Nat 303 Holistic Pathology & Protocols (19th ed.). ACHS.

Sah, A., Naseef, P. P., Kuruniyan, M. S., Jain, G. K., Zakir, F., & Aggarwal, G. (2022, October 19). A comprehensive study of therapeutic applications of chamomile. Pharmaceuticals (Basel, Switzerland). Retrieved April 7, 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9611340/

Silberman, J., Galuska, M. A., & Taylor, A. (2023, February 7). National Center for Biotechnology Information. National Library of Medicine. Retrieved April 8, 2023, from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK482294/

USDA. (n.d.). Idaho Panhandle National Forests - Learning Center. Forest Service National Website. Retrieved April 7, 2023, from https://www.fs.usda.gov/detail/ipnf/learning/?cid=fsm9_019150#:~:text=The%20leaves%20were%20mashed%20with,the%20clotting%20time%20of%20blood.

 

 

 

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Infant Gut Biome

    

    Before birth, one would think an infant has little need for a good gut microbiome, as they are fed directly by the cord to the bloodstream. However, we know that the maternal diet is essential in creating a microbiome in the infant at birth. Some bacteria are shared through the placenta, but birth is where the biome starts. To start an infant off well, many things have to happen, and we cannot always control all the factors. Diet is one that we can control. Studies on how the diet affects the bacteria transferred to babies started with a study on rats, how their diets affected their gut biome, and how that transferred to their pups. This study concluded that a high-fat diet changed the gut biome so that the bacteria shared during pregnancy, birth, and lactation was not highly varied and was mostly pathogenic rather than helpful. (Mann et al., 2017)

    In human studies, we found similar results. In a study published in Genome Medicine (Chu et al., 2016), mothers were separated into high-fat and standard or low-fat diets groups. The infants’ stool and meconium were tested, and a few areas on the body for bacteria and the bacteria were then sequenced. Enterococcus had a marked increase in the high-fat diet group and a marked decrease in Bacteroides, which aid in supporting mucosal immunity. These changes persisted up to six weeks postpartum, even with some of the infants being breastfed. So we know that maternal diet will affect the infants’ gut biome even several weeks after birth.

    Along with diet, we know that mode of delivery, medications, and breastmilk can also affect the development of the gut biome. Starting with birth, the gut biome can change based on delivery. If mom has antibiotics or delivers by cesarean section, the transfer of bacteria from the vaginal canal is either incomplete or altered. However, the composition in the milk doesn’t change much by these factors and has more to do with a mother’s diet and BMI. (Demmelmair et al., 2020) Some small studies showed an increase in harmful bacteria over helpful in the milk in cesarean section milk, but other studies show little to no difference. The inconsistencies may have to do with the area or hospital practices instead. Also included in the study were the differences in breastmilk and formula. There was a higher increase of diversity in healthy bacteria in infants fed breastmilk, particularly at the breast, than those fed by bottle, tube, or formula. While all of this may seem upsetting or daunting as having to have antibiotics or a cesarean section are out of our control, there is hope.

    Mothers can prepare a healthy gut biome for their infant by eating a regular fat diet and limiting healthy fats that feed beneficial bacteria like bifidobacterium and lactobacillus before birth. They can then continue this diet after birth for their milk. Breastfeeding over formula feeding has long been proven to be the best food for infants, and it’s true also for the gut biome. Even if other factors alter the gut biome, breastmilk can help heal and change it over time. It’s been found that bacterial diversity is also determined by maternal weight and diet but still improved over formula, which feeds primarily harmful bacteria, just with lower variety. (Cabrera-Rubio et al., 2012) Colostrum tested showed only a few bacteria, mainly from the lactobacillus family, but by six months, including those bacteria Veillonella, Leptotrichia, and Prevotella were also found. Maternal diet did affect the diversity by limiting these healthy bacteria while having increased levels of coccus-type bacteria.


    While these studies show that diet is vital in developing a healthy gut microbiome for infants, and the importance cannot be understated, we can also affect the biome after birth by breastfeeding. Breastfeeding provides a higher diversity of healthy and helpful symbiotic bacteria that strengthens the gut and our immunity. We don’t always choose how we give birth or need medication, but we can control our diets, and we can seek help in breastfeeding so that we offer our infants the best start in life.

References

Cabrera-Rubio, R., Collado, M. C., Laitinen, K., Salminen, S., Isolauri, E., & Mira, A. (2012, July 25). The human milk microbiome changes over lactation and is shaped by maternal weight and mode of delivery. The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, 96(3), 544-551. https://doi.org/10.3945/ajcn.112.037382

Chu, D. M., Antony, K. M., Ma, J., Prince, A. L., Showalter, L., Moller, M., & Aagaard, K. M. (2016, August 9). The early infant gut microbiome varies in association with a maternal high-fat diet. Genome Medicine, 8(77). https://genomemedicine.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13073-016-0330-z

Demmelmair, H., Jimenez, E., Carmen Callado, M., Salminen, S., & McGuire, M. K. (2020, March 9). Maternal and Perinatal Factors Associated with the Human Milk Microbiome. Current Developments in Nutrition, 4(4). https://doi.org/10.1093/cdn/nzaa027

Mann, P. E., Huynh, K., & Widmer, G. (2017, November 28). Maternal high fat diet and its consequence on the gut microbiome: A rat model. Gut Microbes, 9(2), 143-154. https://doi.org/10.1080/19490976.2017.1395122

Some Updates

So, last year was a crap show, wasn't it?  The government is taking liberties to destroy freedoms and keep everyone scared.  

But anyways.  My husband left active duty last year as well.  He's now part of the Texas National Guard, so once our house sells here, we'll be moving to Texas.  I'm looking forward to it.  I'd like to be near Dallas, but really it depends on where my husband gets a full-time job on where we end up.  But I found a Korean grocery store in Dallas.  I want to be able to go shopping there often.

So, anyways, school is going well.  I'm at the end of my second semester.  I'm enjoying the less mainstream education.  While we use the mainstream curriculum, it's awesome to get the complimentary medicine add ons, with research to back it all up.  I really am just in love with this school.

In worse news, my sister died last month.  It's been hard for my nieces and for me.  I did spend a good week with my nieces, though, and that was so nice.  I need to prioritize more time with my family.

My school was amazing, though, and completely understanding in the fact that I'd be late with some assignments.  Like I said, such an amazing school.  If you're interested in CAM education, or more holistic education in different things, check out ACHS.  They are accredited as well.  Great staff and professors!

School, moving, and transitions

 It's been a hot minute.  But here I am, back to writing.  I won't promise to write regularly, because it would likely be a lie.  We are getting out of the army (I may or may not edit my blog definition/title) and my husband is joining the national guard in Texas.  It'll be a change for us, as neither of us have ever been to Texas.  And on top of that we're still homeschooling our kids, and I'm actually starting school this fall for Holistic Nutrition.  So that will be fun to try and manage, while also trying to deal with my health issues.

But I'm hopeful we will be able to get everything done that we need to get done.  As of right now we are mainly focusing on trying to get my husband a new job/career that he'll enjoy preferably, but will also pay the bills.

As of right now though, I am pretty excited to share what I learn in my classes, about nutrition, and also herbals, as I'm taking that as an elective.  

I hope everyone is well.

Ah, so here we are

8 months out from leaving Korea and I've barely updated y'all on what's been going on. I had a relapse in my chronic fatigue, which has been re-named but it's hard to remember. So, like I said, relapsed which means, a lot of exhaustion and sickness happening here and so most of my good days are spent doing school or out exploring. I need to make a post of nothing but Korea pictures to share.

Thanks for sticking around, I'm considering getting a Facebook page for my many posts since I'm on there more often. Maybe. We will see.

Our first (and only) internationally born child

Moving to Korea was an adventure.  We had to move early because I ended up pregnant earlier than we had been planning.  Being due just a few days before my husband's report date, we had to move our moving up by 2 months at least.  Which we did.  We got to Korea on August 17th. 

I was 33 weeks pregnant and unsure about where I'd end up delivering.  I started prenatal care with the military hospital up at Yongson and to be honest I was pretty surprised at the care there.  It wasn't as bad as I was expecting considering the stories.  They are obviously heading in the right direction as far as care.

I still was not okay giving birth in a hospital.  We found out that I couldn't stay at lodging up at Yongson for half price unless I gave birth at 121 and I was not comfortable with the idea of driving anywhere while in labor at all so around 36 weeks we started looking into or homebirth options.  I was still not comfortable with the idea of unassisted birth although Michael and I did put a lot of discussion into it.  I just preferred the idea of having someone there to assist for those "just in cases."

So we contacted a homebirth midwife.  She was completely hands off in some ways, and hands on in ways I wasn't expecting.  But, all in all I'm glad we called her.  She was really only there for a short part of my birth, but I LOVED her assistant Jasmine.

So, my birth story:

On October 10, 2015, around 10am I had some bloody show.  I have a history of short labors so we called the midwife and let her know.  She sent her husband and assistant out because she was teaching a class.  My labor was very slow to start.  Early labor lasted a very long time.  All day in fact.  Contractions were slow to establish, but they were pretty intense when they were showing up.  It wasn't until around 5pm, after doing some sprints around the building for about half an hour, that my contractions finally picked up.  That's when I'd say active labor started.  The birth pool was set up, and I swayed and moved, and walked around, and leaned, during contractions.  It was very different from my other labors in that I felt the need to move between contractions during this one.  I was also able to breathe, instead of moan through them for the most part for the first part of active labor.

I was in and out of the birth tub a few times, until I think it was closer (to be honest at this point I was fairly exhausted so details are pretty fuzzy)  Kids were in and out of the room, Michael was in and our of the room, and at some point I just lost track of who was there.  Jasmine was awesome at helping me relax during and between contractions.  We had to live and press in on my stomach to get Isaac to engage and drop down because of how relaxed my muscles are.  I do remember hoping that I'd still give birth on the 10th but it was looking less likely.  The contractions kept coming and I was slightly excited when my thoughts turned irrational (thinking drugs would be nice) because I knew he'd be here soon.  At some point Rosa showed up....but I honestly don't remember when.

And then like always the fact that I was pushing kind of snuck up on me and surprised me.  Wasn't as easy as Katara, Isaac's water wasn't breaking while I was pushing and I think that scared me, although I'm not sure why.  Obviously it made pushing harder, but I think it would have been cool if he'd been born in caul but I kind of freaked out at the fact that it wasn't breaking.  At that point I know there was a flurry of activity, and Rosa helped guide him out as I pushed.  He came out all in one push though, head, body and everything.

And he was born. 

Isaac Lee came on October 11, 2015 at 12:49am weighing 8lbs 1oz and 21" long.  He came out crying, and with a short cord like his sister Willow.

Oh So Many Things to update!

We made it to Korea!  I'll have to save some pictures and share them later.  Too much to update now.

So, we went through the easy process of EFMP which was just a meeting confirming any medical or educational care we may need and then we got the green light for that.

We had a little snag with CS when we didn't have a paper filled out that we needed, stating that I was not a sex offender, but after we got that in I'm pretty sure we got the green light on CS within a week.  We were excited!

Then it was time to set everything up to actually move and boy was that stressful!  A LOT of rearranging times, dates, and movers who threw tantrums.  But we made it out only wasting a little over a week of Michael's leave time.

We went to FL and NC to visit family, and took a trip to Sea World.

Then it was time to go.  We drove up to Fort Gordon for a night, then Atlanta to drop off our van.  Another snag, because we didn't actually turn our van in, Michael's cousin awesomely did, and then we flew off to Seattle!  The kids were pretty excited about their first plane ride.  We were all exhausted by the time we go there though, and from there it kind of just got worse.  lol 

We pretty much stayed up all night to get through security, check ins, and then finally, around 8am we actually boarded our flight.  All 7 of us in one row.  We flew from Seattle to Japan where we stayed while the plane refueled, and then from there to Suwon, South Korea.  It was afternoon of the next day, and we were all very tired, from travelling, being on a plane for almost 12 hours, and from the time differences.  We'd lost half a day (13 hours) in the flight.  We got bussed to Osan to go through customs, and get one of our pets and then we were finally on our way to Yongson!

We had to do a very late night briefing (I say late night but I think it was only 9pm) and then we could go to bed.  We checked into the Dragon Hill Lodge (or DHL) and we all kind of crashed.  The hotel is very big and pretty.  I wish I would have explored more.  But, we went to Humphrey's the very next day after Michael had arranged with the pet center to pick up our 2nd cat from the airport, and we rode the bus with one cat to Humphrey's and our 2nd was brought to the gate here.

We arrived late evening and our sponsor helped get us checked into the lodging here on post.  From there my husband started in-processing! 

All in all, even with all the stress, it ended up being an easier process than I was expecting and now we are settled in our on post house (which will be another post) and we have our vehicle, and.....we have a new baby!  Our first international born bundle of joy! :)

Moving to Korea

Command sponsorship has been pretty painless so far.  My husband went to his levi brief and filled out a bunch of paperwork.  I had to sign a few and then turn it in.  The passports were pretty easy, we filled out the application online and then just printed them out for our no-fee passport.  We needed our birth certificates, SS cards and the form.  We got them back in 4 weeks.

Then EFMP was an online questionnaire for each child, asking developmental questions and a quick interview to verify all medical and education needs, and done!

Then after a little complications on our side needing a paper signed we finally got a confirmation number that we had been put in for command sponsorship, got our tracking number and the website to track it on, and all in all we knew we were approved a week after everything was submitted!  Easy Peasy!

Next on the schedule, my husband put in for early report, so he had to fill out his leave form for PCSing to reflect us leaving at the earliest point possible.  His orders say that he can report up to 60 days beforehand and since I'm pregnant, the earlier the better for my flying.  His leave form was approved and now we're just waiting on orders!

I'll update more about Korea once we move. :)

New Adventure

So, my husband has orders to South Korea.  Again, I know.  3rd times a charm though right?  So this time we're going to attempt to get command sponsorship and the kids and I will hopefully be going with him to Korea in October.

Fingers crossed anyways.

So I figured I'll post in here what we do, and when and how I go through this process because I know I'm totally lost and there's got to be others who are too.  This process seems extremely overwhelming and documenting our journey to Korea will help to keep me from going too crazy.

So far my husband was scheduled a levi brief and I was informed to get all my kids medical records for when we go to the screening since we're seen off post, and to bring Steven and Willow's IEP for speech (which I've already gotten from their speech therapist at the school)

So, fingers crossed and hoping things go well.

So where do you go if facebook doesn't work?

To complain that facebook is not working?  Your blog.

Sigh, more time to lesson plan I guess. :)

My Mom

I was 18 in this picture.  Long before my Mom's accident.  I have a lot of guilt over what happened with my Mom.  I had just gone back to work after having my son, and my husband and I had worked out that he'd work days, and I would work nights, except on weekends, where I would work mornings when needed, but I'd only work 6 hours tops, so that we didn't have to leave our son with a sitter, and my husband would bring my son to me halfway through my shift for me to nurse him.  Well, on October 25, 2004 I was at work, without a pump, or a baby, and when my husband called me to tell me that the baby was hungry we realized that my Mom had our 2nd car seat and my husband had no way to bring our son to me.  I had no way to pump, and I would have leaked like crazy if I didn't either nurse or pump, although we did have frozen milk in the fridge for James.

So I called my Mom, and I asked her if she could bring the car seat to my husband so that Michel could bring James to me to nurse.  It was about 9ish and she said sure.  Michael showed up not 30 min later, we only live about 15-20 min from my Mom, and work.  I nursed the baby and then walked them out to their car before I went back to work and I can remember vividly the car accident on Industry Road.  There were so many flashing lights, and a semi truck and everyone, the cashiers and baggers, everyone was captivated by it.  We saw the helicopter come in to flight lift the wounded, and I remember I made a comment that obviously it was really bad if they were flight lifting rather than just using an ambulance.  I said a quick prayer for the family and the person affected by this accident and shooed everyone back inside to get back to work.

Little did I know that this would change my life in so many ways.

I usually got off a little after midnight.  I got the call, sometime as I was wrapping things up in the office.  Bill called me and said Mom had been in a very serious accident, and that they weren't sure if she'd make it.  It was really bad.  At that moment I realized I'd prayed for myself.  I just knew that accident was my Mom. I asked Bill where the accident had happened, and he said somewhere on the way home.  I told him I saw the aftermath.  I was so scared and I kind of just lost it.  Thank God Chris knew how to finish everything in the office because I'm not sure I would have been able to finish.  I called Michael to come get me, I knew I'd not be able to drive home, and then I called my sister and my best friend Amanda.

I don't remember much else.  I knew I wanted to rush over there immediately but Bill told me not to.  I went early the next morning though, and my Mom, she was, I'd never seen her so frail looking.  I prayed, so hard those next few weeks.  My work, God Bless them gave me more time off, and I took another month off waiting for my Mom to heal.  It was touch and go for the first few weeks, and we learned that she could no longer feel her legs.  Her spinal cord was swollen, and she was paralyzed.

My Mom had forgotten that she had taken her sleeping pills.  She only wanted to help her grandchild and I feel so guilty about it, even now.  If I'd had a back up plan then I'd never have had to call her to go to my house, and the accident would not have happened.

I then watched my Mom fade away over the next ten years.  It was hard, and I miss her every day now.  My Mom was my best friend.  She had so much hope right after the accident, that maybe she'd be able to walk, at least with assistance, but as the years went on she lost hope, and with the loss of hope she lost her motivation to stay healthy.  In the past five years especially she was in and out of the hospital a lot, there were several close calls, and honestly, I thought that's what this last time would have been also, but it wasn't.  And as much as I miss my Mommy, it was time.  She was such an amazing Mom and friend.  She always supported me, even when she maybe didn't agree or understand and she never judged me.  I don't think I could have asked for a better Mom.

I love you Mom.

Juggling children is hard! :)

  It's hard to do school when you have an almost 17 month old who constantly wants your undivided attention.  Like right now, where I came in the room, sat down to blog and immediately I'm demanded to nurse her.  Right now.  No exceptions.

This isn't going to be my main blog post today, but as I'm limited at the moment with my hands, this is the best I can do right now.

I've got two students still in the 13-14 school year, and I've started my middle two in the 14-15 school year already at their request, and entire week early.  Which is okay since we're heading to FL in less than two weeks.  So far it's going okay, but I don't have a lot I need to do with the bigs, but my almost 17 month old is not a fan of my being distracted from her.  At least not when she wants attention, and that's about any time I'm not paying attention to her.

But, back to topic, I plan on writing about my Mom soon, which is still a hard subject for me.

I'm trying...

....to think of my next blog post.  Not sure what I'm going to write about but I have some ideas.  I really would love it if I had the time and patience to write about all the things I'd like to write about.  And the ability to stay on task.  Gotta love chronic fatigue.

But, as it's almost time for a new school year I think my next full length blog post will feature something about our new school year that I'm setting up for.  But, for now I have two young children begging to go to the park.

It's my birthday today too, and I'm exhausted, I think pizza may be in order for tonight.

March was a hard month for me.  My Mom was in a car accident in October of 2004.  She suffered severe injuries and became a paraplegic.  She was optimistic at first, but slowly, what was optimistic that she may eventually walk again became resignation that she never would, and finally slipping into depression as she realized she never would, and that many of the things that she used to love to do and wanted to do with her grandchildren could never happen.  And unfortunately in all of this she also missed out on a lot with them.  I watched as my vibrant and passionate mother faded away in front of me, and finally, in March this year she left this earth.  I still can't think about her without crying.  My Mom was my best friend, my rock.  After my Daddy died in 1992 I only had her and although we had a rough start, she was my person to cling to.  We had a lot in common and enjoyed those things together.  My Mom was a really awesome person who I miss talking to every day since she died.

It was sudden, and yet not so sudden, and it's hard not to think back and see all the regrets, all the times I could spend with her and now can't.

Mommy, I know you're looking after me now, and my kids.  I love you and I know you knew that.  It hurts, you being gone, but I'll be okay, but only for you, because I know that's what you'd want, but I miss you.  So much.

So here it is.

My confession.  I care about what people think, to a point.  From about my 3rd child on I've pretty much said, I'd be happy with how many we've had, we won't be having any more, and to be honest, at those times I was being truthful.  But, it inevitably hits, the baby bug.  It's not that I'm not happy with my children, but that I am.  I love my children and I love being a Mom and I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life.  And I want more.

I hate being pregnant, it's annoying and tiring and a lot puking, but I LOVE giving birth and having a squishy newborn from it.  And the biggest thing of all....I've always had my heart set on six children.  I come from a large family, not my immediate family, no.  I'm my Mom's only and my father's youngest of three, except they are both older than I am, so I grew up essentially an only child, but my Mom's mom, my grandma had six, and my Maw Maw had four children and when I saw my aunts and uncles interacting with each other, and I saw the love between my cousins who had siblings, I knew, just KNEW in my heart I was meant to have children like that.

So yes, after Katara I said I was done, and a LOT of that was out of social pressure, and because of my anxiety issues, but saying it and having those issues does not make the want for more kids disappear.  And I'm sure I *could* be happy with just five.  I have some really awesome kids, so I really could, but why do I have to settle for less than what I want just because people think six kids is a lot?  My kids are taken care of, they eat their fill, they have a roof over their heads, and medical and dental care, and I also do believe that God provides.

No, we're not pregnant, and I'm not sure we're going to be again, but I'm not saying I won't be again, because I could, but there it is.  I miss being pregnant and I love having newborns and I love being a Mom to a large family and I won't be ashamed of that, because there's nothing WRONG with that.  My family is happy and really, that's all that matters.

The Myths of Homeschooling

I've rolled doing a blog post like this around in my head before, but it IS really overdone.  So of course I'm doing it.

Myth #1 Socialization.  I hear this so often and really it kind of baffles me.  My Mom used to tell me all the time, "School is not for socialization, it's for your education" along with my teachers after my best friend Amanda and I would be caught, for yet again talking to each other (you know socializing.)  Here is Merriam-Webster's definition of socialization:

so·cial·ize

 verb \ˈsō-shə-ˌlīz\

: to talk to and do things with other people in a friendly way

: to teach (someone) to behave in a way that is acceptable in society

so·cial·izedso·cial·iz·ing

Full Definition of SOCIALIZE

transitive verb

1

:  to make social; especially :  to fit or train for a social environment

2

a :  to constitute on a socialistic basis <socialize industry>

b :  to adapt to social needs or uses

3

:  to organize group participation in <socialize a recitation>

intransitive verb

:  to participate actively in a social group

Now, I'm not sure how anyone can say only public schools are qualified to teach children how to act in the real world.  I'd dare to say, that's pretty much the parents job, since from birth you're supposed to teach them to be respectful, kind, polite people, and that job doesn't end just because they are school aged.  It's not the school's responsibility to teach those things.  The school is responsible for giving children the education (not socialization) they need to survive after they graduate, whether in the work force, or in college.

Myth #2 Not Being Smart Enough.  Now, I'm not saying anyone can teach their kids.  It's something you've got to want, but I am saying, anyone IS capable of teaching *their* kids if they want to put the work into it.  Many curriculums are extremely easy to use.  They lay it all out for you, and all you have to do is follow their plan.  They show you ways to teach different concepts, and there's plenty of free resources online nowadays that have videos of concepts that you can have your child watch if you can't explain something well.

Myth #3 They'll miss out on Extra Curricular Activities.  Not at all true.  Many children play sports offered in the community, and not through schools.  There are dance studios, private tutors for all kinds of musical instruments. There are homeschool coops, and groups and so many many resources available to homeschoolers, you just have to reach out there and take advantage of the opportunities.

Myth #4.  You Have to Have Unlimited Patience.  I don't have patience, I am caught sometimes in the feeling of wanting to hit my head up against a wall.  So I take a break.  We all take a break, and then come back anew.  A lot of the stress from homeschooling, imo, comes from this unrealistic expectation that you'll be able to do it all.  You can't.  Not even the public schoolers are finishing everything.  Think back, did you do everything in your science, math, language arts or history book?  No?  That's right.  Didn't you learn and graduate high school?  Your kid will too!

It's that time of year again

Tax return season!  Which means.......curriculum searching!

One of the advice I give to people who are just starting out in homeschooling is to give yourself a break in the first year.  It's the hardest, you have to get in your routine, figure your kid out, and what in your curriculum you can tweak to insure that your child learns.

I have five kids, four of them will actively be doing school this year (I hope as I have a very stubborn four year old.)  I started homeschooling using only abeka with James.  It worked really well, and I enjoyed it and James worked well with it.  I can tweak what I need to, skip things that are already learned, and add in places if needed.  It worked well with Jade too, and Steven, but I've made changes over the years.

At one point, the older kids were not doing well in spelling, so I switched that, and now my kids love spelling lessons, and are excelling in it.  I also felt that Abeka's science and history was weak, so we switched that too and the kids now look forward to those classes.

It's important to remember to change things when they are needed.  So, I get to Willow, and she's not responding to Abeka at all.  So, we're trying something different, and I'm thinking also of switching things for Jade too.

I really like the time of year though, to buy new curriculum.  It's fun now, and no longer overwhelming, looking into all my options!

The life of a large family.

When I was little I grew up as an only child.  I have two sisters who I love a lot, but I didn't get to grow up with them.  I was not completely lonely as I had friends and a lot of cousins to play with, but at the end of the day, when I was at home, I was alone.  I was jealous of my cousins who had siblings and the bonds they had with their siblings from growing up together.  I always knew that when I had children that's what I wanted for them.  That bond.  I know that my Mom would have had more children if she'd had the chance but she was not able to have that chance.

So as I grew up I knew that my want of 12 children was probably not all that realistic, and I knew, when my father died that I wanted either my husband or myself to stay at home with our children, to have that security I felt from my father being at home with me.

I met Michael when I was 15 years old.  As we got closer, we started talking about what most young people do when they are way too young and dating.  We talked about our future, and what we wanted.  I told him that I wanted a ton of kids, probably somewhere around 6.  He said he wants kids, so that wouldn't be too bad probably.

We didn't purposely have James, but he wasn't exactly an accident either.  We were both very much aware that he could happen, and we went into that with our eyes open.  He was VERY much wanted.  We chose to try and have Jade as close as possible because I was informed it'd be hard for me to get pregnant (ha!).

After Jade we discussed family planning, how we wanted to go about it.  We chose to try for Steven as soon as possible after Jade turned 1, and the same thing for Willow.  We discussed money issues, our family dynamics, and if this was something we really wanted (to be parents of four).  We were both in very much agreement that a large family was something we both wanted.

After Willow I had said no more.  Michael (and pretty much everyone else wasn't convinced) that I'd have more.  I was not.  Michael and I talked about it though, around the time that Willow weaned/turned 2 and decided that we would try and have two more kids, but that we'd wait for me to be pregnant while he was gone, and then he'd be home for the first year of the baby's life.  Then try for baby #6 when baby #5 was 1 year old.  We got pregnant with Katara and I have since decided that the panic attacks I have at the end and after giving birth are too consuming of me, and we've decided not to have more kids.  Not because we don't want more (because we do) but because my mental health is important.

That doesn't mean though that we couldn't provide for more children, that we wouldn't be able to give another child all the love, affection and attention they deserve.

I was recently asked...

Who I admired the most.  I wanted to put a lot of thought into it. I immediately thought of my Mom, because I do admire her a great deal.  I love her and I look up to her and I respect her so much.  My Mom is one of my best friends in the world, but after putting a lot of thought into it I chose my grandmother.  Not just one or the other though, both of them.

Both of them were strong, independent thinking, intelligent, God-fearing women who I respect and admire so much.  I don't even think writing this up would give enough credit to their lives.

When people ask me why I had so many kids I'm not even sure what theories they come up with.  I've had people ask if we're Catholic (no but we don't use BC either) or we're Mormon (no, but I have a lot of awesome Mormon friends), if we have a TV (seriously don't get this one really, there are other things to keep us occupied than a TV, like board games, and our kids), or some other rude question that's really none of their business.  But to be honest, my biggest motivator were my grandmothers'.  My Mom was only able to have me.  She had a partial hysterectomy shortly after I was born.  I was the youngest of 3 girls for my Dad but I didn't get the privilege of meeting my middle sister until we were both adults, and my oldest sister is old enough, honestly, to be my mother.  So while I did grow up with her, she didn't grow up with me.  I was, and act like, an only child.

But, even being an only child, I knew what it was like to be surrounded by family.  I have an awesome family.  So many aunts and uncles and cousins.  My father's mother had four children, 3 boys and a girl, and my mother's mother had six children, five girls and a boy, and both of those women were the glue that held our family together.

Both of those women, are who I admire the most.  For their commitment to their families, and especially for the love, strength and courage they showed me in how they lived their lives.

My Mom's Mom, my grandma, my grammy was someone who was quiet but strong all the same.  She was so soft spoken to me, and yet, I never wanted to be on a disapproving side of her stare.  She always made you feel welcome, and she spent time with you and had so much patience when explaining things to you.  She had faith, and even though she had difficulties and many surgeries that could have laid her up she kept going.  She was always there to help and her hugs.  Oh her hugs.  I miss those more than anything.  She raised six pretty awesome kids.  I love all my aunts and my uncle, and so happy to have had the cousins I have.  I feel blessed to be part of our family, and we manage to get along so well even though we all grew up across the country (countries even) and have different views on things, we still come together in love and friendship.

I can remember our Sunday dinners that we had so often.  It was a big deal to have dinners on Sunday, and then we'd watch football, or my cousins and I would play int he backyard or down by Tiger Park, and the house was full of warmth and love and laughter and I always thought, this is what I want my home to emulate.  This kind of love and activity.  When we went home things were just too quiet.

I felt that way also when we would travel up to North Carolina to visit my other set of grandparents (which was not often enough imo).  We'd also have Sunday dinners after church where we'd listen to my uncle sing.  We'd have true southern meals, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, greens, cole slaw, corn on the cob and we'd sit around the table and talk and laugh and catch up on things missed.  We'd watch football, the kids would play on the tire swing and if we were lucky on when we went up, I could watch the hot air balloons from the back yard.

Maw was such a wonderful, head strong woman who I used to love to follow around and just watch what she was doing.  I loved to watch her sew, crotchet, and paint.  Especially paint.  I cherish her paintings, and she used to tell me, Bob Ross was the most wonderful painter in the world, but I truly believe it was her.  She was so talented, and I always felt special when she'd lit me sit there and ask her questions about the paint, and what she was doing and she would explain it all out to me, with not even a hint of impatience in her voice.  I wish I could have watched her paint way more often then I got the chance.

These two women are the ones who inspired my want of a large family.  I want to be surrounded by my children the way they were, I want to have so much love and happiness and excitement and energy in my house like I remember having in theirs.  I want to be remembered like they are.  I want to be that strong role model that they were for me, because honestly, I could have no finer compliment than for someone to say that I remind them of either one of my grandmothers.

Love Dare put on Hold

Just until Michael gets back from training.  I'm a little bummed, but we want to do this together. :)

In other news I have some thoughts rattling around that I want to get out, but it all belongs in a post of it's own and will probably wait until the kids are all in bed, or tomorrow maybe.